i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
