i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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