I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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