dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
