just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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