It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
