i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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