and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
