I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
