My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
