There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
