This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
cat food counts as protein by the way
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
