i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize