She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
