How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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