When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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