Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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