yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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