Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
