I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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