is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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