You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
