i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
