he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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