after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MIDGETS
????
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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