I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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