she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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