I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
