How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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