she smelled like a LAN party
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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