just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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