I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
