would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
