Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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