I wish I could teleport
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
