So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
