I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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