Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
