oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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