Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
