i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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