How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
