Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
