i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
