Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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