There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
