like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
