She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My liver just had a heart attack.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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