Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
