and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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