The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i out mim tonsoeep
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