It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
