I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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