he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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