I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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