Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
