I wannas sexs uuuuu
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
