He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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